privilege

I dreaded going to work yesterday. To be perfectly honest, this does not often happen. I love my workplace and what I do, but yesterday there were some definite forces working hard against me. One, I had heard rumblings of a crazy packed schedule and a rough workday before. Two, I was coming off of a great few days with my parents here in town, and I could think of 1.5 million things I’d rather be doing than “dealing with” my patients.

Three… I have a black eye. Yes, it’s true. While attempting to reach a toy on the top shelf of our (embarrasingly disorganized and overstuffed) coat closet, a heavy toy tumbled down and hit me square in the eye. My mom was kind enough to keep careful tabs on the progress of my bruising… “Oh no, Catherine! It’s getting worse. I think you popped a blood vessel! No really- it’s going to be worse tomorrow. Wow. Just wow. Take a look at that bruising.” Thanks for the reassurance, mom. 🙂

Based on the population we serve at my office, I knew that no one would have guessed a black eye could possibly be caused by a falling toy. Surely there must be a more scandalous explanation.

Well, I womaned-up, went heavy on the concealer and headed off to work after all. On my commute, I typically pray for wisdom, patience, and compassion for the day ahead. I rely on these prayers to focus my heart and mind prior to stepping foot in the office. It changes my outlook and shapes my practice.

As I prayed yesterday, one word hit me like a ton of bricks. Privilege. Over and over again, I could not get this word out of my mind.

Sure, it is a privilege to have a job I love. A boss that has been overwhelmingly flexible with my schedule. Coworkers I adore.

More importantly, however, I was struck with the privilege I have in caring for these children and families. Understanding that God has uniquely and beautifully created each and every life for which I am examining and treating, I cannot help but stand in awe of this opportunity I have each week. An undeniable privilege.

It is my desperate prayer that I will forever be amazed at the remarkable complexities and splendor of creation. That I would not grow jaded by the fallenness of this world but would praise the God of grace and redemption all the more. And that I will forever consider the roles in which the Lord has placed me a true privilege.