Last night, I nearly passed up one of the best gifts ever given to me. As I felt the guilt swell up inside of me for doing something that seemed so inherently selfish (i.e. running away from it all and spending the night alone in a hotel), I informed Matt that I would be staying at home instead.* Well, after some tears and prodding and having him practically kick me out of the door, I hit the road. To Cary. Friends, the point clearly wasn’t to go far away. πŸ™‚

After a nice solo dinner at Panera** and then a small bit of shopping, I checked into my hotel. Immediately, I was struck by the silence. And felt the need to do something. But once I realized how blissful the silence really was and the rare opportunity that lie ahead of me to be completely unproductive, I settled into my little “me retreat”.

The past 14 hours have turned out to be so perfect for me. It’s like a good infomercial. You never knew you needed such-and-such gadget until you see it being used. I didn’t know how much I needed some “me time” until I had it.

I have had a copy of The Connected Child for quite a while now but upon feeling a recent sense of “oh my goodness, maybe this adoption really will happen sometime this decade”, I brought it along with me. So, I have been soaking in Purvis’ thoughts on development, behavior, and bonding of adopted children. I’m only a couple chapters into the book but already highly recommend it to any adoptive parent.

Even better, I have enjoyed some uninterrupted time to just be still with my Bible and journal. How appropriate that I happened to randomly open my Bible this morning to the story of Mary and Martha. What a sweet morning it has been to break out of my typical Marthaishness. To stop doingdoingdoing for once and to just sit at the feet of Jesus.

But lest I sound too holy, I also totally watched all of Meet the Fockers last night in the comfort of my plush king sized bed and enjoyed every minute of it. I guess I can’t stay quiet for too long. Baby steps…

So as I wrap up this post, I look forward to returning to real life with a quieted heart and a refreshed soul. And, Matt, thanks in advance for Night Away, Take Two in 2012. πŸ˜‰

* Why do I do this to myself? Why do mothers always feel guilty for doing anything for themselves? Or is this just me?
** I used to judge people who ate by themselves. Now I welcome the opportunity to sit down to a quiet meal with just me and a good book.

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