I love my kids. Actually, I think it’s probably unhealthy how obsessed with them I am…
BUT there are those moments in life where I wish I could just pretend for an instant that the screaming, flailing child in the shopping cart is not mine.
Embarrassment #1 of the morning:
While checking out at the store, Carson suddenly became wide eyed as he saw an old man with white hair and a white beard. Starting at him straight in the eyes and pointing with his chubby little finger, Carson yelled, “HO HO HO!” My son totally thought this poor old man was Santa Claus. Santa’s apparent twin was a little taken aback, and my face turned bright red. Neither of us knew what to say, but everyone else in line thought that this was the funniest thing they’ve ever seen.
Embarrassment #2 of the morning:
I thought I was onto something when I nestled Carson into a toddler-friendly car shopping cart at Kroger today. He did so well… that is, after I allowed him to double fist his boxes of raisins. Then, Mary Grace decided that enough was enough, and she wailed until I picked her up with one arm while attempting to navigate the supersized car shopping cart with the other. Alas, out of the blue, all heck broke loose with Carson. He was screaming something in that incomprehensible language he tends to communicate in when he’s in tantrum mode. I couldn’t figure out what he was saying, so after nearly abandoning my full cart and peacing out of there, I finally made it to the checkout line. By this time, Mary Grace had settled, but Carson was becoming utterly ridiculous… you know, the back arching, animalistic sort of behavior that makes strangers stop and shake their head. Then, an angel disguised in a Kroger uniform came to my rescue and loaded all of my groceries on the belt, back in my cart, and then into my car. Oh, and the root of the tantrum? Goldfish crackers. Apparently, that’s all he wanted. Duh. On my way home, I called Kroger to tell them that Nameless Angelic Kroger Employee deserved to be knighted or something. It isn’t every day that someone is actually helpful in these moments of motherhood chaos, and I appreciated his kindness more than he will ever know.