still waiting

I know there has been little talk on the blog regarding our adoption as of late. Simply put, I don’t know what to say except that the rollercoaster ride continues, and we’re hanging on for dear life. Among our small Rwanda adoption community, there seems to be a trend of consistent ups and downs. There will be a week here and there of lots of referrals and traveling families. And then will come what we all dread- a few weeks of no news, no referrals, nada.

Here’s what I do know:

Referrals are being made, and often these referrals are completely “out of order”. I continue to have to leave behind my Western perspective of order, fairness, and what “makes sense”. There have been referrals for families with numbers higher than ours while may families with lower numbers still wait to bring their children home. Although there seems to be no rhyme or reason behind the order of referrals, I trust that God knows our child and that His timing is perfect.

I also know that the Sisters at the orphanage take their jobs very seriously and spend a great deal of time in matching children with families. I have been told that some children have been baptized by the Sisters and they therefore prefer to place these children in Catholic families. Hey, we have Catholic friends, surely that counts for something, right?? 🙂 I have also been told that the Sisters have been going out into the community attempting to track down the paperwork for the abandoned children at the orphanage. This is huge, people, and is something for which I have been praying. Remember, without paperwork (police reports documenting where abandoned children were found, etc.), these children cannot be adopted. I am so, so thankful for these caregivers who are doing the best they can to advocate for orphans and care for our baby.

Still, there are many, many days when I want to shout, “Hey God, I get it! You’re in control and I am not. Let’s get this show on the road.” This has been the theme of the past 19 months and a lesson that I desperately needed to learn.

So, you see, God is good. Even in the wait- no, especially in the wait- I am being broken, rebuilt, and refined. For that, I am so very grateful.