So, I turned in my last preschool tuition check this week. As I handed the check over to the school’s director, I not-so-casually blurted out that it was our last preschool payment ever. “Bittersweet, huh?” she said. With zero hesitation, I responded with a smile, “Nope, it’s just sweet.”
Y’all, maybe something is wrong with me, but I’m just not clinging TOO tightly to those years of having tiny littles. Like, I see these cute little embroidered pillows that implore their children to “never grow up” and sweet wall hangings asking their children to “stay little forever”, and I get all confused inside.
When I see some of you buy these things and say these words, I’m thinking that you are simply the sweetest, kindest, gentlest parent ever. Because you wanna know MY gut reaction to these darling little quips and quotes? I’m all, “Well, no. Actually, darling child, I want you to grow up. To leave the nest. And to learn to function without me cutting your spaghetti and wiping your butt and tying your shoes. I’m gonna enjoy the heck out of you while you are little (most days at least. just between us, some days I hide from you in the closet. because some days, you little people can be CRAY.), but do me a favor. Grow up one day, too. K, thanks.”
It’s not that I’m wishing away these years of them being small. I mean, look at them.
(Except maybe not here. This is the aftermath of these two nutcases staying up HOURSS past their bedtime and me giving up. Because Matt was gone and I was done and Grey’s isn’t going to watch itself. But look! They had books! Lots of books! My children are so literate and brilliant!)
I guess it’s just that I’m a realist to the core. And the truth is, my kids are going to grow up. So, I’m going to love ’em hard and enjoy each stage. We’re going to get snowcones dripping with Red Dye #40, and I’m going to pull them out of a perfectly good school day for an even better day at the zoo. However, I’m not going to cling too tightly to any given stage. Nor will you find me crying over the last preschool check. (HECK NO YOU WILL NOT.)
Because these babies of mine were awesome, precious, (EXHAUSTING) infants and toddlers. But you know what? They’re turning into awesome, precious, (and equally exhausting) big kids too.
So, maybe I just need to bite the bullet and make my own wall hangings for the kids’ rooms. Something along the lines of, “You’re awesome. I love you. But, for the love, grow up.”