I’m not gonna lie. Last week was terrible. Really terrible.
But as you know, life goes on. And things continue to look up.
I did lay down for a nap this afternoon and happened to catch a whiff of Chloe on the pillow. This was sad for me. But tears didn’t come. Maybe this is a good thing?
Then again, I find myself obsessively vacuuming, as to remove any last trace of dog hair from our floors and furniture. Of all things, the dog hair has been too much for me. I might have a ways to go in “getting over” Chloe after all.
But as you have all assured me, perhaps it’s okay to grieve the loss of a pet like this. Maybe, just maybe, I’m not so crazy after all.
Like I said, though, life marches on. And while grief continues to catch me off-guard in the most mundane moments of life, the joy is there too.
Joy in hearing my son (quietly!) playing superheros when he’s supposed to be napping.
Joy in the copious hugs and kisses lavished on me when I pick the kids up from their school (that I have already grown to love).
Joy in excellent news of approvals and referrals and general positivity from Rwanda.
And then I am reminded of the goodness of God. For the past week, three simple words have been written on our kitchen chalkboard: He is good. When my mind starts to dwell on our recent string of sickness and on Chloe, I am reminded of His goodness. When I grow impatient and weary in parenting two not-always-easy little ones, I am reminded of His goodness. When I start wondering if we will ever bring our Rwandan son home, I am reminded once again of His goodness.
And life goes on.