(otherwise titled: three reasons I will never, ever be awarded the “mother of the year” award)
1. Having to make the critical decision between:
(A) Enjoying a serene 25 minute car ride home with two content, quiet children and one content, quiet, sleeping toddler… knowing that the car-sleeping toddler would not equal a crib-napping toddler later in the afternoon. Or…
(B) Enduring a whatever-is-the-opposite-of-serene 25 minute car ride home while sleepy toddler SCREAMS HER FACE OFF because of her mother’s attempts to keep her awake in the car. Despite the fact that this toddler’s screams could probably be heard across state lines (which, in turn, causes Child #2 to start wailing and Child #3 to laugh hysterically… which inevitably causes far more hysteria in Child #1 and #2), you know that if you can just hold on a littttle longer, there was probably a 50/50 chance that a semi-decent nap at home might just be in your future.
(I chose B. I mean, obviously.)
2. Completely forgetting that this week was Color Week at the kids’ school until 15 minutes prior to go-time, I furiously gathered purple shirts and dresses for the girls to wear. Easy. Meanwhile, I realize Carson doesn’t own a single article of purple clothing and know that his sensitive self would be crushed to be the lone non-participant in his class. As I looked at his red and blue shirt, brilliance (read: desperation) took over as I reminded him that red+blue=purple. Duh. “So, check it, Carson! You’re not just ‘wearing purple’ like everyone else- instead, you get to be a living and breathing science lesson!” He bought it. Crisis averted.
3. Sticking to the color theme, I also totally and completely forgot about St. Patrick’s Day this weekend. Not that I care at all about this “holiday”… but guys, the thought of leprechauns, or making green milk, or anything of the like never even entered my thick skull. That is, until I was asked at church why my kids weren’t in green (and was then met with the judgement and stares of my two little preschoolers who were suddenly wondering the same darn thing)! Then, of course as I later logged into facebook, I was smacked in the face with pictures and captions of all of you overachievers ruining my motherly reputation with your pinteresty projects. But then I read this which made me wanna get all pentecostal up in here and start shouting amens and hallelujahs. Because don’t we all feel this way from time to time (ahem, nearly every holiday?): “Fellow parents . . . teachers . . . sunday school workers . . . I beseech you. BRING IT DOWN A NOTCH. Y’all are setting up expectations that I just can’t maintain. Wouldn’t we all be just a little happier if we returned to the slacker days of store-bought valentines and kit-dyed eggs and JUST WEARING A GREEN SHIRT AND CALLING IT A DAY? For the sake of overwhelmed parents like me, I beg you. Stop the madness.” Preach.it.