Hi, my name is Catherine and I’m an addict.
(Cue: “Hi Catherine.”)
A little background. There are coffee drinkers who wait a few hours and then hit up Starbucks on their way to work. And then there are coffee drinkers who stumble to the pot the moment their feet hit the ground in the morning. I am the latter. I have never, ever understood people who took their sweet time to meander on over to the nearest coffee joint a few hours after rising. Heck, no. I am a woman with a mission at the crack of dawn o’clock each day.
And so I was this morning… until the unthinkable happened. I poured the water, measured the coffee, and turned the pot on. Nothing. No gurgling of the pot. No drip. Nada.
My heart began to beat a little faster. I started jiggling the pot. Turning it on and off, off and on. Plugging and unplugging. I turned the whole darn thing upside down in case there was, you know, like an emergency switch down there or something.
There wasn’t. By now, I was pacing. Running through the options in my head. Do I go to Walmart now to get another coffee pot? Are they even open at 5am? Do I jump in the car for a big cup of Dunkin’ Donuts coffee? Yes, that’s good coffee, but I need it now. Shoot, I needed it five minutes ago. I’m starting to freak out a little more. Over coffee. Cheap coffee at that.
And then the pot mysteriously turns on. It’s a miracle! I probably shout some praises to Jehovah Jireh. And then pour an extra large cup of java. It courses through my bloodstream, and at long last I feel good.
As I type this, I seriously believe I belong in a local NA meeting. Y’all know (or maybe you didn’t but now you do) that I love me some drug addicts. No, really- that’s something this clean cut girl is passionate about. (That’s a whollle ‘nother story for a different day.) And this morning I was pretty sure I had become one. Let’s just hope coffee is not the new gateway drug.
Someone please tell me I’m not alone. I can’t be the only one who has practically broken out in a cold sweat over a non-functional coffee pot? Or am I…?