in our midst

So, a bit of a follow up from my last post which, I admit, was a bit of a downer.  But it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to… and there sure has been a lot of crying up in here.

However, over the past few days something miraculous has happened.  Even with news on Rwandan adoptions becoming more grim by the day, I have been overwhelmed and overcome with peace.  It’s seriously crazy, y’all.  I mean, I keep telling myself, “Self, you really should be freaking out right now.  You do know that, don’t you?”  (What?  You don’t all hear voices in your head?  Really?)  In all seriousness, though, I know that this is a direct result of the many people who have been crying out to God on our behalf.  Because God answers prayer.  Regardless of the outcome of our Rwandan adoption, this has been so abundantly clear.

Since the very beginning of this process, one of our consistent prayers as a couple has been that God would bring us to a deeper knowledge and understanding of Him through the process.  I am really not trying to sound too over-the-top (because, let’s be real- I know this sketches some of you out), but please hear me out…

I can not recall a time in the past two years… or even in my memory… that I have felt so overwhelmed by the presence of God.  In our tears and questions and desperate prayers for wisdom, He is here in our midst.  Honestly, I can’t find the words right now to elaborate on this (which is rare for this all-too-wordy girl).  But suffice it to say- as I have prayed for more of His Spirit, He has delivered.  (Interestingly, we are smack dab in the middle of a sermon series on the Holy Spirit right now.  It’s been really good.  And obviously very timely.)

I don’t really know what I’m trying to say.  Except that, yes, this adoption journey has been straight up nuts, but God is, has been, and continues to be unbelievably faithful and loving and good.  He has never left our side.  Not once.

As the days go on, I am becoming acutely aware that this adoption is certainly not about us.  And maybe it’s not about a precious little African baby either.  What if it’s all about Him?  What if it’s all about His glory and renown?  Would the blood, sweat and tears be worth it?  Heck. Yes.